I’m currently shutting down my blogs (both my personal and art blogs) and also my phlog (my online portforlio) due to the fact that I’m experiencing technical problems with my DSL connection (puta! pati yung linya ng telepono ko di na gumagana! bad trip! ayusin niyo to Bayantel!) Currently as of now all drafts won’t be publish in all blogs. I’ll see you after my blog hibernation.
Went to Marvin’s to have some basketball session again. After that me, Marvin, and his brother Mark went to Ali Mall for some food tripping at Chowking. Went around Araneta Center that time and Marvin’s brother knew that I’m into photography. (Marvin knew I’ve been doing this since I was in LA.) So while were passing the entrance of Gateway mall, Mark just suddenly blurted out, "Ang gandang kunan ng mga ilaw o!" Just my luck! I have my digital camera with me and took the chance of taking photos at the said entrance. I had a couple of shots made. One is in auto mode where the lights are stable and bright. I set my camera to my customized settings and made some slight movements and there you go. My photo turned to be a little blurry. (That’s the catch there dodo!) Well, I took photos around the mall and I was just struck with the lights surrounding the Araneta center. Went home after that and I just started to take more photos. Marvin took some photos too. Never thought that he’ll be that interested or he just want to take some photos. But then he told me that didn’t know on how to operate the camera and he just showed me some of the photos he took. I was just surprised! If what he said was true, well all of the photos he took were awesome! Nice shots! And not bad for someone who don’t know what he’s doing with the camera. Well here are some samples since I’m almost going to reach my friendster photo upload quoata (which is 50).
At the entrance of Gateway mall Araneta Center, Cubao 07/16/05
At the entrance of Araneta Coliseum. I just love the light! Neon glow baby!
Infront of Araneta Coliseum. I was addicted with lights that night!
Taken by Marvin at 11Th Avenue, Cubao 07/17/05. Wayto go Marv!
Taken again by Marvin. In Black and White plus the motion blur. Nicely done!
i just feel so pathetic today. Ugh! My life is too dull for me to focus on anything I really want to do. Really want to do.
Withering Dreams
The pale moonlight touches my soul
As it tries to cleanse me
Of my pain, of my impulsive actions
Such course makes a recoil
A reaction I never meant to be
Such anger keeps me away
And now my dreams are withering away
Fading away is a term too lame
Falling out of love is too common
But holding on is something I always do
I keep on falling for you
But still
My dreams are withering away
Gone are the facts that I’m only human
Who make mistakes, who take actions without thinking
Just let my emotions burst, is all I care
Never thought someone will be hurt in the process
I never thought my dreams are all withering away
Such dreams I always cling to
As my hope for survival
As my guide for me to get into you
But it’s all my fault
And now my dreams are all withering away
You are one of my dreams
And you are withering away
Well, back to my poems. Tama na muna ang drama sa buhay at medyo pumapangit na ang mga kulay nito (ng aking buhay that is!) oh well, here’s something that will inspire me as I try to go on with my everyday shits.
Stand, Grip, amd Throw
Time stands still
As I’m in a abyssmal state of mind
Thinking how life is full of mysteries
As you walk your way through and discover each one of them
Such joy
Such love
Such pain
Such sadness
But life is all that something you dictate
It’s not life who will dictate you
Such freedom you long for
And also the same freedom you abuse
You’ve failed
You’ve fallen apart
You’ve felt such binding agony
And the scars that stays for a lifetime
But there is one thing that keeps you holding on
The reality that you will alawys be you
No world can change that, no realm can define who you are…
Only you
And you stand, grip, and throw
Fell free to fall, and stand up after that
Fell the pain, and love the things around you
Risk is such an unwilling word, but it is for you to take
Feel free to roam wherever you want to be
Just stand, grip, and throw
Embrace your life, not the life of others
You just share it with them, but never give it to them
Stand still, believe what you believe in
Fight for who you are, let your existence be known
Embrace your life, as it is you alone who can see the reality of it
Stand for yourself…
Grip to the reality about you…
And throw everything you doubt and fear…
Just stand, grip, and throw
8 months na kame. Ala lang. Share ko lang. Masama ba? Di naman diba? Oh well. Another on the spot poem shit. So bahala na. Kayo na lang ang humusga. I just feel a bit loosen up outside, but a bit tighter inside. Asus! Labows….
Sands of Time
Holding still as I grip into the unknown
Roamed everywhere to find for something I’ve been longing for
Still I suffer as my world is covered in darkness
And only the sands of time will know
When this story will end
I’ve tried to stand over and over again
But I keep on sinking
As I’m traped in such a situation
Where it’s either I let go
Or choose death
And only the sands of time will know
The answer to all of my questions
Why am I feeling such pain?
Why am I feel so tormented with ever memory that clings to my soul
As it sucks out every integrity left in me
Such binding agony I bear in me
And only the sands of time will know
When this tragedy will end
I tried to force myself to made a poem again. It’s been 2 days since I feel my brain doesn’t process any logic for me. Oh well, these are the days when I totally suck. I can’t upload pictures now since I’ve already reached the quota. I’d rather make another poem. When I was finished at the poem, I just find it to suck big time! Oh well, some poets sucks at some of their works aren’t they? So here’s sucky poem now.
My Bad
For all the shit I do
Sorry but my bad
For all of my mistakes
Sorry but my bad
For all the things I gamble
Sorry but my bad
Ah! Such life is a game
You win it fair and square
But losing it is so unfair
But sorry, my bad
All actions I’m willing to risk
Such risk I’m willing to take
Now it’s too late to change
And all I blame is myself
But my bad
This is me, and me can’t change
All that I’ll ever be, will always be me
My bad for everything you think is wrong
But seems right for me
My bad if our world collides
Reality is there was a thin line between you and me
That each of us cannot cross
We just need to respect it and understand it
But my bad I never explained it to you
Just my bad for all…
These are the times when my mind is totally blank. Nothing comes into my mind. Nothing registers. I can’t comprehend. I tend to type the things in my head right now. But believe me. I have no idea where this post is going. I mean, I just have no idea on how to control my impulsiveness whenever I feel blank. Or does my mind really feel blank at all? Or am I just exaggerating things to the point that my mind is not really blank but too many things are in my head that I’m denying myself that more and more thoughts and emotions are passing through me that it made me fall around my world? See, I told you my mind is blank. Pffft!
I just don’t feel like doing anything today. Even if I do, I won’t be able to remember it since my mind is not in it’s usual self. I’m totally blank. Ganito o ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
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I made another on the spot poem. This time I was all bored out of editing my old poems I made years ago. Where the ones I made are completely out of the way. I mean the poem is a total mess. No heart in it. So I’d rather made a new one than spend the day editing it. Well as I was making this on the spot poem thing I was just inspired by Wolfgang’s She is My Cain song coming from their Acoustica Album. (Released last 2001) Ok, I’m gonna admit that some lines came from the song but then I don’t think this is a plagarism. Well since I made the 95% of the lines here. You be the judge. Here’s the poem.
She is My Cain
She is my life
She if my love
She is my hope
She is my world
Her domain where I can be whoever I want to be
I can’t explain
It is so plain
She is my Cain
She is my light
She is my sanctuary
She is my day and night
She is my eyes
Her view is such a blissful sight
I can’t explain
So unreal, so unexplainable
She is my Cain
She is my fervor
She is my bliss
She is my plush
She is my lust
Everything I need is in her, but everything she needs, is not in me
I can’t explain
Why my life is mysteriously blurry
And she is my Cain
She is my vain
She is my pain
She is my scar
She is my fear
I was betrayed by my blindness and foolishness. I want it to end
Now I know
What she means to me
She is my Cain
Got nothing to the whole day. So I planned to go out and take some photos, instead of to brood myself here in my room the whole day. I always want to go to Quiapo or those urban slums but I’m too chickened out to bring my digital camera there. So I’m stuck walking within the vicinity of Claret church and the Quezon Memorial Circle. Here are the samples.
All were taken at Claret church.
All were taken at Quezon Memorial Circle.
