Ang buhay sa mata ng bagong makata

Tormented Soul

Stranded somewhere
I’m nowhere to be found
Uncertain on how I feel

Lost in a portrait
As I cling to every memories
Of you filled with binding agony
Sleep bring relief
With every hope of a new day
But I wake in a misery of being without you

Surrender
I give in
Another moment
Is another eternity of sorrow

In sorrow
I speak your name
And my voice mirrors
My tormented soul

Seek me for comfort
Call me for solace
I’ll be waiting for the end of my broken heart

But my torment still clings to me
As it defies my soul to the abyss
Shattered and torn into pieces
I can’t let go of the misery life has brought me
Tormented soul is all left in me

Part 4 of 8. I just love remembering that day doing on the spot poems. Such emotions I let go inside of me.

My Eyes Burn

My eyes burn
With every photograph
Every picture of you engulfs me in flames
I cried my heart out
Please hear me out
But my plea falls on your deaf ears

Take it all away
Don’t lead me back to you
Please, just go away
And don’t cry as I fade away

My eyes burn
With every places that I see
And every faces that I meet
Such excruciating pain I feel
As it defies the existence of me

My eyes burn
With every photograph
As it reminds me of our yesterday

My eyes burn
As you fade away
And now you’re gone
My eyes are burned with hatred
And now I’m upside down

Take it all away
I won’t be longing for you
Go away and be gone
And now you cry
As I let go

Part 3 of 8 of the poems I made. 8 on the spot poems that day?!? I just can’t believe that I made such stuff in just one sitting over a tall size of caffe latte.

Music Man

Hey music man!
Make a song for me
Make me a happy soul as you strum a note
Just don’t leave tears in my eyes like the way you sing our song now

Keep me sane with you melody
Find a note that suits me
Just keep the song you made for you and me

Keep your song safe
As it’s about you and me
Never change the tempo
Because I don’t want to be left behind

Divert your anger with every bang of the drum
Don’t mend your soul with a distorted sound
Amplify your senses with every riff of life
Just don’t let your passion die on such an entropic sound

Hey music man!
Sing our song for eternity
As I grasp every words you exhale
with my deepest sincerity

And this is part 2 of 8 of the poems I made at
Starbucks Araneta Coliseum. I don’t know if most poets are like this
but I was just curious if they made a composition in a whole day. If
they still edit it after they are done with it. I just find it odd for
me to keep on writing non stop. Oh well here it goes.

The Dance of Ones and Zeroes

Here I am again
Waiting in vain for an answer
Such riddle kills my brain
As it diabolically eats up my soul
And I dance with ones and zeroes

In a drunken state of mind
What a predicament to be aggravated
Nothing is left of me
But pain and a never ending misery
And I dance with ones and zeroes

Such outburst I can’t control
Mind over matter is so unexplainable
My justification she can’t comprehend
And I was left in the middle of nowhere
I still dance with ones and zeroes

As I said, here are my poems that I made when I was in Starbucks lat 07/22/2005. As I was waiting for my friend Anna and at the same time was too early at the meeting place, I just decided to do some on the spot poem. So here goes the first one.

Kwarto

Nandito ako sa aking kwarto
Maglilinis ng gamit na dala ay poot at galit
Mga kahapong di na mapagtanto
Dahil sa liwanag na di na maitamo nito

Mga damit na dama ang pasakit
Mga panyo na tinuluan ng luha
Na puno ng pighati

Kailangan ko nang iwan ang kahapon
Sumulong kung saan man tutungo
Dala ko’y mga sugat na aking natamo

Mga ala-ala na nakatabi sa isang sulok
Puno ng alikabok dahil sa sobrang lungok
Mga litratong unti-unti kong inipon
Naka kahon na at parte na lang siya ng isang masayang kahapon

Kailangan ko nang lisanin ang kahapon
Bahala na kung saan ako patungo
Wag lang ulit sa kwarto kong kay lungkot

I was remembering the what a nice Friday I had last week. (07/22/2005) One of the rare Fridays where I find myself a little bit ok and enjoying the day, No, it’s not that I hate that day, but the fact that most of my Fridays ruins my weekend. Oh well I had a good one since I was so into the Macro feature in my digital camera. I knew about macro. But I never though that my camera is offering a mode called Super Macro where you can get as close as an inch away from your camera lens to your subject. Well it’s the same as the Macro mode in most digital camera models but this one is different since it is not in the dial knob but just an additional feature. Golden rule: Read the freakin manual! So as I’m havin fun with my new discovery of the Super Macro mode, I was about to meet my friend Anna. Since I had a stressful week, I decided that seeing this friend of mine won’t hurt and maybe watch a couple of movies. Main plan is to just have fun! As I was around 4 hours early of the said time that we’ll meet, I decided to spent the next 4 hours at Starbucks and make some poems. And I did some poems. (I’ll show them next time) I made 8 of them. 8 poems all of them on the spot in just a day. So I took a photo of my Journal - cum - Poetry notebook. And when Anna saw it, she liked it and even told me to upload it as a photo of my blog. Nice idea Anna! So here are the pics of the Flowers that I took in Super Macro mode and the said notebook I’m using right now as my photo for my blog.
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And by the way, Anna like the flowers I took. More reasons to continue photography! Yeah Boy!

I took this photo on my way to meet my friend Anna. I saw this beautiful flower at the other end of the Marunong St. where I live. (taken on 07/22/2005)

Another one I took inside the garden of Gateway mall in Cubao. As I was killing time since I arrived at our meeting place too early. 4 hours early to be exact. Well time to take some photos right?

Taken at Starbucks in Araneta Coliseum. As I was done with my 5Th poem and on my way to the 6Th one. As I was thinking  on what to right, I was just surprised with the way the pencil was over my journal. Then I just imagined the whole thing in Black and White. So I just took the camera took a shot and boom! A nice pic. Anna liked it. She even gave me the idea to use this photo for my blog. Nice!

Finally after more than a week of not having an internet connection. I’m back again to the digital world of blogging, archiving, and ranting! Too many things happened. I’ve met my friend Anna and watched the movie The Island. (It reminds me of Downtown LA which I miss so much!) Made 8 on the spot poems at Starbucks in Araneta Center since I was too early at the meeting place. Went home to Bulacan and spent the whole weekend there so I can have time with my "kababata" and also so I can detoxify myself with whatever I’m going through or so I thought. Just got back to Quezon City from Bulacan last Monday and went straight ahead to Marvin and talked to someone about certain things. A little bit jolted with the things going right now. Spent the night at Marvin’s till the next day and went home around 4 pm already. As I arrived I saw the DSL modem and only one LED indicator where it says "Ready" was blinking solid green. Nice! Internet connection is back again. So I’m back from the grave! Or so I thought. Seesh. I just feel numb right now. More post tomorrow.

I’m currently shutting down my blogs (both my personal and art blogs) and also my phlog (my online portforlio) due to the fact that I’m experiencing technical problems with my DSL connection (puta! pati yung linya ng telepono ko di na gumagana! bad trip! ayusin niyo to Bayantel!) Currently as of now all drafts won’t be publish in all blogs. I’ll see you after my blog hibernation.

Went to Marvin’s to have some basketball session again. After that me, Marvin, and his brother Mark went to Ali Mall for some food tripping at Chowking. Went around Araneta Center that time and Marvin’s brother knew that I’m into photography. (Marvin knew I’ve been doing this since I was in LA.) So while were passing the entrance of Gateway mall, Mark just suddenly blurted out, "Ang gandang kunan ng mga ilaw o!" Just my luck! I have my digital camera with me and took the chance of taking photos at the said entrance. I had a couple of shots made. One is in auto mode where the lights are stable and bright. I set my camera to my customized settings and made some slight movements and there you go. My photo turned to be a little blurry. (That’s the catch there dodo!) Well, I took photos around the mall and I was just struck with the lights surrounding the Araneta center. Went home after that and I just started to take more photos. Marvin took some photos too. Never thought that he’ll be that interested or he just want to take some photos. But then he told me that didn’t know on how to operate the camera and he just showed me some of the photos he took. I was just surprised! If what he said was true, well all of the photos he took were awesome! Nice shots! And not bad for someone who don’t know what he’s doing with the camera. Well here are some samples since I’m almost going to reach my friendster photo upload quoata (which is 50).

At the entrance of Gateway mall Araneta Center, Cubao 07/16/05

At the entrance of Araneta Coliseum. I just love the light! Neon glow baby!
Infront of Araneta Coliseum. I was addicted with lights that night!

Taken by Marvin at 11Th Avenue, Cubao 07/17/05. Wayto go Marv!

Taken again by Marvin. In Black and White plus the motion blur. Nicely done!

i just feel so pathetic today. Ugh! My life is too dull for me to focus on anything I really want to do. Really want to do.

Withering Dreams

The pale moonlight touches my soul
As it tries to cleanse me
Of my pain, of my impulsive actions
Such course makes a recoil
A reaction I never meant to be
Such anger keeps me away
And now my dreams are withering away

Fading away is a term too lame
Falling out of love is too common
But holding on is something I always do
I keep on falling for you
But still
My dreams are withering away

Gone are the facts that I’m only human
Who make mistakes, who take actions without thinking
Just let my emotions burst, is all I care
Never thought someone will be hurt in the process
I never thought my dreams are all withering away

Such dreams I always cling to
As my hope for survival
As my guide for me to get into you
But it’s all my fault
And now my dreams are all withering away
You are one of my dreams
And you are withering away